This is the story that was never supposed to be written; the story of the funny, fat girl named Jessica, who fully embraced her role. I wasn't supposed to lose weight, I wasn't supposed the be the "skinny" girl who runs for fun. I wasn't supposed to be a guest blogger, writing to you all about how one day I decided enough was enough and took control of my health. I was destined to be overweight my whole life; I had accepted this and saw no other future for myself. The funny thing is, it's never too late to take control and decide who you want to be, it just took me awhile to figure that out.
I was overweight my entire life. The highest weight I ever saw on the scale was 308 lbs. I remember crying in the doctor's office that day with my mom, and going home and eating to make myself feel momentarily better.
Throughout my life I had repeatedly lost and then gained back all the weight probably ten times. The thing is, I LOVE food; I relate to it on a personal level. You don't get to weigh 300+ lbs by not eating. Sad? Let's eat! Happy? Let's celebrate with food! Bored? NOM! I will always be the girl staring at the plate of brownies (or cheese or pretty much any serving tray filled with delicious snacks).
I guess the thing that finally clicked with me is that it's OKAY to love food. Just try to love GOOD and real food most of the time. I never liked trying to lose weight because I always felt hungry. You'd be surprised as to how much food I eat on a daily basis, now I am just making smarter choices. Moderation is key. I try to eat really well during the day for breakfast and lunch at work, which allows a little wiggle room for dinners at home with my husband. Make good choices 80% of the time and allow some indulgence the other 20% (nothing off limits!!). The realization of this is what kickstarted my weight loss journey. Losing weight is mostly what you eat and put into your body. Nourish yourself with good foods, and great things will come.
I started my weight loss journey in January 2012 in hopes to feel pretty on my upcoming wedding day. I literally dove right in, and I was determined to succeed. I went from absolutely NO EXERCISE to working Monday-Friday in the morning before work. I remember walking into the gym the first day, feeling like all eyes were on the fat girl trying to figure out what to do. When I first started, I lived on the elliptical (very low impact on joints, and burns a TON of calories) and was super self-conscious about getting sweaty. But day after day, pound after pound, I slowly gained confidence little by little.
In the 9 months leading up to my wedding, I managed to lose 80 lbs and walked down the aisle feeling more beautiful than I ever had in my adult life. After the wedding, my sister, Michelle, and my mother started working out WITH me and that's when things changed for me entirely. Having the support at the gym propeeled me into a world of CrossFit, Taebo, and Zumba (despite being a lovely Latina woman, I have ZERO rhythm). It took me off the elliptical, out of my comfort zone to places I never would have had the courage to go before.
In June of 2013, I had the crazy idea to start running. Looking back, I honestly cannot even tell you WHY in the world I would have wanted to run. I hated running the mile at school; I vividly remember crying to my mom and having her write me notes to get out of doing so. I was always the last to finish...every single time. So disheartening, I remember the burning feeling in my lungs, cramps in my side and the sadness in my heart. So, the fact that as an adult, I willingly chose one day to just run for FUN is downright ridiculous, but it is truly one of the best things I ever did. When I started, I was slow, very slow, but I did it. I didn't push for speed or running long distances. I'd make a deal with myself to run to the mailbox, and then you can walk. After awhile, I could run to the corner, and then further and further. The funny thing is, the more I did it, the more I liked it. It changed me as a person.
In July, my sister Michelle and I set out to achieve the impossible. We decided that we were going to run a marathon, a FULL 26.2 miles the following November, just 5 short months after my very first run. Most people thought we were crazy....hell, I THOUGHT we were crazy. It was by far the craziest thing we ever attempted. On November 2, 2013, we successfully accomplished the impossible. From the get-go, our only goals was to finish; and after 6 hours and 23 grueling minutes of running (I mean, seriously, have you ever worked out for 6 hours straight??? That's like watching Titantic back to back 2x) we crossed the finish line. I vividly remember feeling like we had won the race. The overwhelming feeling of pride and happiness I felt that day swells my heart with joy, and still to this day, it makes me cry just thinking about it. It was our greatest accomplishment (thus far) and while we certainly weren't the fastest by far, we poured countless hours of training, blood, sweat, and tears, and 4:30am wake up calls for long runs, over five months and 500 miles of preparation for that one day. It will always and forever be one of the happiest days of my life. Running a marathon changes you, from the inside out, it's inexplicable to someone who has never done it, and with the right amount of dedication and determination, you could do it too!
With anything in life, it's so important to have a support system. My sister and my mom push me and encourage me to try my hardest each and everyday. In the past year, the three of us combined have lost a total of 250 lbs. My wonderful, incredibly strong mama, is currently training to run her first half marathon with me and my sister on May 2nd. Your habits, whether they're good or bad, spread to those around you. Surround yourself with people who love and support you, and you can achieve anything.
Even sitting down and writing this out seems surreal. I feel like for years I had just accepted the fact that I was going to be overweight and sad my whole life, that it was too late. In two short years I managed to lose 160 lbs. If someone would have sat me down two years ago and showed me what my life would look like today, I would have never believed it was possible. I know people always say "If I can do it, so can you" but honestly it's the truth.
As of today, I currently weigh 148 lbs. I went from a size 24 pants to a size 4. I've officially lost MORE weight that I currently weigh. Thinking about that honestly blows my mind. I'm literally half the person I used to be, yet I feel like I've grown and gained so much. I've added countless years onto my life, and I have inspired those around me to lose weight and adapt a healthier lifestyle. My biggest piece of advice to anyone looking to lose weight or change their old habits, is to just take it day by day. Celebrate small victories, every pound, every minute exercised, every step of the way. It's important to enjoy the ride, and not be too hard on yourself. I constantly reminded myself along the way that I was breaking habits that had been formed over my whole life.
Your story is never done being written, and it's never too late to become the person you were always meant to be. Anything is possible with positivity, persistence and a little perspiration.
PUSH IT CHALLENGE WEEK 3: PUT ON THOSE RUNNING SHOES!!!!!!
Lastly, Stephen asked me to create a challenge for this week, and as a runner.. I'm sure you can take a guess where I am going to go with this....
I want you to lace up your shoes, and run (walk, crawl...) one mile. It doesn't matter if it takes you 45 minutes, or 8 minutes. Get out there, pound the pavement, listen to music or listen to the beating of your heart. Try to lose yourself in the run. Enjoy it. Bask in the glory of your awesomeness, you can do it
I apologize for my incessant ramblings and for those of you who actually made it this far thanks for reading :) Jess
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