I was sitting here in my apartment and a wave of negative thoughts found their way into my head. I started hearing: "You're not good enough." "You're replaceable to those around you." "You will always be a drunken one-night stand regret." "You're a joke." Now, normally I would deal with these emotions with some Cass Light (33% less calories...same great taste) and fried chicken. I started craving these things really bad. I wasn't sure how else to push these cravings away. When I am feeling down, I just want to wreck myself. Then it hit me. I needed to be reminded of how far I've come, and what eating and drinking these things will lead to. So this is where my night run begins...
I made the decision to run back to the first neighborhood I lived in when I moved to Korea back in 2009. Even though I have walked (sometimes stumbled) these streets before, they seemed new to me. I wasn't the same person anymore. I wasn't the guy who would only sit on the bus if 2 seats were open next to each other, for fear of crowding another person. I wasn't the guy who looked down to avoid the stares and looks. That guy still lives inside me, but I was stronger now. I had experienced more and taken risks. I never was a big risk-taker before. I walked to my first school. I stood there and remembered all the amazing people I met at LCI. I went to my first gym. I thought I would find change there. I did for about 6 months and then it was just another entry in my "Failed Attempts" journal. I went to my old apartment. The place where I had some great highs and lows. I laughed to myself. I cried a bit (might've been my allergies..;)). But most of all, I remembered that I came here completely alone and built an amazing life for myself in a completely different country. I remembered how lucky I am to have met all the amazing people and children that I have met in Korea. Those feelings of inadequacy dissipated. I then ran home jamming out to my Country music. Even saw a wreck. Sucks to be those guys tonight! They probably should go for a run, too.
So, with that all being said, here is how I completed my challenge this week....
1.) Physical: Ran to my old neighborhood...I actually was able to run! Seeing it with new eyes and taking in all the change that has happened in that area. They have a McD's across from my old school. That would've been the death of me back in 2009. Not to mention, all the pizza shops near my old apt.
2.) Set a few goals: I want to be 80 kgs by my birthday. I want to help be a positive part of at least 5 people's weight-loss journey this year. I want to start truly trusting those that have given me no reason not to. They deserve that.
3.) Dealt with my cravings for fried chicken and beer with physical activity and reflection.
So that's my challenge this week. What's yours? I look forward to seeing your pictures and hearing your stories. Remember that it's called a journey for a reason. Don't be scared to go on it. You didn't get fat overnight. You ain't getting skinny overnight either. Just keep moving! You owe that to you! Keep rocking out!
#SGJunebody #gettingstarted #maketodayyourday #yolo
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