Week 2: You've Got a Friend in Me...What I'm Up to

            This week proved to be hard for us all…myself included.  I have spent so much time thinking about all the things I challenged everyone to do, and honestly, I didn’t even know what I wanted to say about them.  Vices, forgiveness, and working out with others are not easy tasks for anyone to complete.  However, they are crucial to the process and help make the results that much better.  So here is how I completed (Week 2:  You have a friend in me).

     Physical Challenge:  Unfortunately, this week was one of my busiest weeks I've had in awhile.  Coordinating my schedule with other people's schedule was almost impossible.  This challenge will have to wait for a later time.  I did; however, spend some extra time walking with my buddy, Drevyn.  Drevyn is my dog.  He has been in my life since I was a Sophomore in college.  I don’t know what I would do without my 4-legged friend.

     Mental Challenge:  VICES!  Ugh!  Such a mean, dirty word.  They control us, but they don’t have to.  I have had so many over my life and am still fighting to give up the last few I still hold onto.  What I realized this week, as I was trying to figure out all of my vices, is that my biggest vice is me.  I’m no longer addicted to fast food and soda.  I am extremely proud of myself for overcoming those things, but I still hold me back from being the person I know I can be.  Every vice I could think of stemmed back to something

that I need to work on in myself.  I spent this week trying to surround myself with supportive friends and trying to do things that make me happy.  Overall, I was selfish this week and made myself a priority.  We need to do that from time to time.  It’s so easy to pour all of our energies into others, but what have we done for ourselves?  I try to ask myself everyday, “Stephen:  What have you done for you today?”  If I can’t answer that question, there’s a problem.  The biggest thing I did for myself last week was step onto the stage again.  My acting became secondary over the past several months, and it made me feel like something was missing in my life.  The stage is my home, and where I feel the most alive.  Having the opportunity to show others what I love to do made this week so successful for me.  I have a lot of healing that still needs to be done.  I truly believe that once I can bandage up a few more wounds, the rest will fall into place.

     Emotional Challenge:  When I started this challenge, I knew I was going to have to face some tough obstacles.  How could I expect it out of others if I couldn’t do it myself?  I knew I was going to have to be strong for everyone participating.  People were reaching out wanting help.  I wanted to be the one that helped them.  I wanted to be a beacon of light that helped create change.  I wanted others to know that they are not alone.  So when I made a challenge of forgiveness, I knew we would all be struggling together.  Forgiveness does not come overnight, but it can happen.  So here is my story….

            We are constantly surrounded with one person or another telling us to forgive.  It is vital for us to let go of painful pasts and move forward.  On May 6, 2013, when I stepped into that gym again, I knew that if this was going to work, I would have to find some way to let go, as well.  I felt like holding onto so much anger was only going to keep me from reaching my goals.

            So that’s what I did.  I made a mental note of every negative thing that had happened to me, and I began to say to myself every day, “I don’t hate you.  I thank you for helping to make me the strong person I am right now.”  Soon enough I found that my childhood bullies didn’t have power over me.  That kid that wrote, “Die.  Die.  Die.” on my science assignment, and then brought a gun to school soon after, didn’t scare me.  My first love that left me heartbroken didn’t crush me.  The family members that turned their backs on me when I needed them to understand me, didn’t hate me.  I actually began to see the love my family has for me again and our struggles brought us closer together.  I seemed to have it all figured out.  I was on the right path until a few months into the journey.

            Before I even began to truly enjoy the fruits of my labor, my life got turned upside-down.  Trusting is not easy for me.  I have been betrayed too many times.  I actually have a deep fear that I am replaceable to those around me and fight harder than most to keep my friendships.  However, I was in a good place, and I had found someone that had become my best friend.  This person brought out the best in me and I in them.  I had found someone that understood me, and I never thought would do anything to hurt me.  I was wrong.  In one fail swoop, this person kicked me to the ground.  I was left feeling worthless, used, and betrayed.  Everyday, I would fight to put a smile on my face and tell myself how awesome I am, but most days, it didn’t work.  I had invested so much in one person and then had everything slammed in my face.  I had listened to my heart and not my head.  I slowly felt myself slipping into a dark hole that I couldn’t get out of.  The only bit of light I saw came from my workouts.  I vowed that, no matter what, I would fight like hell to lose this weight.  So I kept working out.  I kept thinking that soon enough I would get back to normal, but it just wasn’t happening.  All my biggest fears and insecurities came to knock me in the face again.

 

            Now, in the middle of all this, I get a text from my first love saying that she always loved me.  One would think this would make me ecstatic, but it didn’t.  This text came 4 years later.  Why wasn’t I worth saying that to all those years ago?  Was my being so fat really what kept us apart?  Am I really just the guy you run to when there’s no one else?  All of these questions reeled through my head.  I began to feel even worse about myself.  I began to feel like I would always just be someone’s toy to use, throw out, and pick up again when there’s nothing else left. 

            Everything just seemed to keep piling up, and a few months ago I spiraled downwards faster than Justin Beiber.  I found myself becoming the person I didn’t want to be.  I began using others hoping that it would somehow make me feel wanted or better.  It did none of that.  I hurt others along the way, but the person I hurt the most was myself.  It wasn’t until last week that I had my moment where I said enough is enough”!  It’s time to stop the madness and get back to being you.  So that's what I'm trying to do.  I am so lucky that I have the friends I do.  I had reached a place so low that I just didn’t know what to do.  So I reached out to my closest friends and said that I need help.  I was prepared for them to run the other way but the opposite occurred.  They reached out their hands, picked me up, and said, “We got you.  Let’s ride.”  And boy have I taken them on a ride.  But they have stuck with me through it all.  I have tried to push them away and test their loyalty, but they are unwavering.  It’s because of them I’m strong enough to reach out my hand to each of you.      

            Do I have this forgiveness thing figured out?  I highly doubt it, but what I have learned is that forgiveness, to me, is opening your heart up so big that you can feel empathy and understanding for someone, even if you think they are trying to hurt you.  It’s taking the time to understand what may be going through their heads and not just thinking about what they did or said to you.  We all have baggage and that baggage can lead us to do some crazy things...even to those we love.  Whether big or small, we have all hurt someone and been hurt ourselves.  We have begged for forgiveness and been asked to give it.  My Grandma always told me, “Don’t go to bed with hate in your heart.”  I try really hard to live by that.

            If either one of the people I mentioned above, and they know who they are, ever happen to read this, I hope they know how much I love and respect both of them.  We can choose to cut people out of our lives, but in these cases, I want them in my life.  They need me and I need them.  I understand them and they understand me.  I also want to tell myself that I forgive you and will do everything I can to be the person I know you are.  I will become the best me I can possibly be, but I will still allow me to make mistakes along the way and be ok with that, too.  We all make mistakes, but I truly believe love conquers all.  Probably one reason why I like the "Harry Potter" books so much. 

     So with all of that being said, I’m climbing back out of that hole and lights are shining brighter each and every day, but now I’m climbing out a lot stronger, slimmer, confident, and sexier (I had to say it!) than ever before.  I will always have my hand out to help y’all.  Just put yours out and say those all powerful words, “Let’s ride!”  Keep working hard, supporting each other and spending more time understanding others and letting go of the hate.  I promise to do the same.  This challenge has made me excited again about working out and living a healthier life.  Your enthusiasm is contagious.  Let’s keep having fun and trying to bring sexy back!  On a side note:  my dog is snoring really loud right now.  I don’t know if I can forgive him for all of that.      

Results Week 1

     Let's get this party started!  Week one has come and gone, but the work has just begun.  In week 1, we all had a lot to accomplish.  Everyone had to give up soda, fast food, and commit to working out 5 days a week.  In addition to that, we all had to complete 3 challenges in the areas of mental, emotional, and physical.

     These consisted of setting a goal, working out someplace new, and overcome a craving.  By completing these challenges, everyone was able to get started on the right path to changing their lives and being happier and healthier this summer.

     We all began to see that this wasn't going to be easy, but many found that they were stronger than they ever knew they could be.

"I didn't think it was doing much until Thursday evening I was walking up the stairs and I reached the fifth floor before I realized I hadn't stopped yet to take a breath and I hadn't even thought of the elevator. For some people walking up five flights of stairs is childs play but for me it was kind of a big deal. I was so excited I just kept walking. All the way to 12."  Charlene Stratton (Ilsan, Korea)

     In just the first week, a community of love, support, and health was born.  I can't wait to see how it strengthens over the next several weeks.  

"It just made me realize a lot of this journey is mental and having a way to focus and awesome people to cheer you on makes it so much easier. Thanks Stephen and everyone here in the group for doing just that. Let's do this!"  Melissa Wetherbee (Seoul, Korea)

     

     And just so we don't give up, technology has found a great way to keep us motivated...the fat app!!

Results Week 2

     Week 2 proved to be a tough week for the majority of the group.  I asked everyone to workout with a buddy, give up a vice, and to forgive themselves or someone else.  Ok...working out with a friend sounds easy enough, but what if you struggle to even find the courage to work out by yourself?  What if you have to huff and puff your way through a simple walk while others are jogging along?  It now becomes a daunting task.  I can remember walking through the gym for the first time again on May 6th.  I felt ready to tackle my weight issues, but I was also scared shitless!  I knew I would be the biggest one in there.  I knew people would be watching.  Overcoming that fear of being active with others is vital.

"Working out with a friend is always a plus when you find a friend that does not judge nor makes you feel as though you are holding them back." Allison (Ilsan, South Korea)

     

     We all have vices.  Some big and some small.  Giving up any vice is never easy.  However, when we can give up something that controls us we get so much back in return.  That sense of accomplishment is the greatest feeling ever!  I think we all struggled finding our vices and giving them up, but like I always say, it's not about the failures, it's about how we learn from them and keep on a truckin' forward!

     Last, was the big dog...FORGIVENESS!  That word has the power to change everything in our lives if we are able to find it and give it to ourselves and others.  But how do we do it?  Is there a magic recipe?  We can't sign up for a "forgiveness" test.  It's something that has to come from digging deep.  It has to come through healing.  It is a vital part of changing yourself from the inside out.

"I believe that once I begin to see changes in myself and see my happiness and love for life continue to gleam back into my eyes, heart and soul, that forgiveness for people that have wronged me will come naturally."  Brittany Burris (Indiana, USA)

     Our guest blogger this week, Jen Clark, also challenged us to plank in our extra #pushit challenge!  Let me tell you what...we planked...it hurt...but it felt so good!  Planking really does work the whole body.  I think some people even discovered that they would continue incorporating them into their weekly routines.  

"Oh and I hate doing planks, but it's in my daily reminders now!" -Jo Turner (Ilsan, Korea)

Beach Body Challenge Week 3: Stranger Danger!!!

            So we are about to begin Week 3.  Reading everyone’s stories and seeing all the amazing pictures is so inspiring.  Last week was tough!  I wanted this week to be a bit more fun and not so intense.  So welcome to Week 3….Stranger Danger!!!

            I love meeting new people.  Since I can remember, I have loved people.  It is hard; however, to put yourself out there and make those new connections.  Last year, a guy I had just met was leaving Korea and asked me if I would help out the teacher who would be replacing him.  I agreed and a few weeks later I met up with this itty, bitty, Armenian feller from Los Angeles.  Little did I know that I had just met the brother I never had and a person that would become my best friend.  By taking the time to meet someone new, I found an amazing friend.  Mark has been one of my “rocks” in this process and has helped me to be as successful as I’ve been.  You need these positive people, but it takes getting out there to find them and meet them.  It takes taking risks!  So let’s take some risks this week!

Physical	Mental	Emotional
Try something new physically.  I never thought I could plank until last week.  Let’s keep that spirit alive and try out a new exercise, routine, or class.	Confront a fear.  Fear holds us back from becoming all that we can be.  Don’t let fear stop you this week.	Stranger Danger---Selfie O’Clock *Get a selfie with someone new you meet throughout the week.  Take the time to reach out to a stranger.  You never know…that person might change your life.

      

      Have a great week, y’all!  If last week proved disastrous, pick yourself up and hit it hard this week.  Just don’t give up!  Failure is a part of the process.  It’s how we learn to do things differently next time.  Giving up on yourself is never the answer.  Keep bringing sexy back!  Hash tag handles this week:  #sgjunebody  #strangerdanger

            We will also have another guest blogger this week who will give us our #pushit challenge.  That information should be up the next few days.  

Week 2: Push It Challenge Guest Blogger

Stephen: I thought it would be really fun to add a guest blogger each week.  Jen gave me the idea so I thought it's only befitting that she write the first one.  She is also the person responsible for helping me organize this challenge. 

Jen and I met in Korea last year, and she has become a very good friend of mine.  If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't still be going so strong.  She loves all things fitness and has been a beacon of light, hope, strength, friendship, support, and love in my life. She is also from Minnesota and rocks out the accent like a champ.  Here is her story and her #pushit challenge:

Pushing to Live

I can still remember the phone call I received from my uncle while I was at dinner with my friends, "Your dad suffered a stroke and is in the hospital. It's best you and your sisters come right away," my Uncle Steve stammered on the phone while choking back tears.

My phone dropped into my lap and I stared in disbelief among my friends. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach and tears strolled down my face. As much as I hated the man, I didn't want death to be the final sentence for my crotchety old dad. No one wants death for anyone [unless you're a complete psychopath]. From that phone call on, a wave of emotions cycled through as expected with any crisis; after much debate, my sisters and I made the final decision to pack our weary bodies [at 2am] into our little red sports car and drive off into the dangerous flurries of yet another winter snow storm. Upon arriving at the hospital 4 gruesome hours later, I marched to the bed-side of my burly father and decided to give him a piece of mind.

Of course, the bastard was sound asleep, probably dreaming off the effects of morphine.

Another 8 hours and several cups of crappy hospital coffee later, we found out the results: a stroke due to a clot in his left artery. Doctor's orders: stop smoking, eat healthy, lower the cholesterol, exercise at least 30 minutes a day, 3 days per week, and to take an ungodly amount of heart medication.

Oh dear Lord, do you know who you're talking to? 

This man eats more bacon + eggs and PB+J sammies than any human could ever consume, smokes 3 packs of cigarettes/day, pours at least half the sugar shaker into his coffee, considers walking to the mailbox as "exercise," and not to mention; he is the most stubborn man alive. He is NOT going to follow that recommended regimen. Good luck, Doc.

Wake Up

While my father's stroke may not have been the wake-up call we all hoped he would pay attention to, it certainly woke me up. I became obsessed with eating clean, working out + living an active lifestyle, and also taking better care of my mind and soul because I did not want to end up like my dad or anyone else in my family; struggling with heart disease, lung failure, diabetes, high cholesterol, depression, and obesity. It was time to take control of my health and my body and push myself to live each day to the fullest. 

I made a goal to lose 28 lb. before my 28th birthday [still in progress--5lbs to go]. I made a goal to eat less ice cream + dairy [needs improvement]. I made a goal to not eat red meat [then I moved to Korea]. I made a goal to run more. I made a goal to bike everyday [I worked 6 miles from my house and rode my bike everyday for the summer]. I made a goal to fight less, love more, and value my friendships and relationships with those around me. I kept active with my roommates. I lived by a lake and took walks frequently. Anytime I could get out and move my body; my heart was happy. While I may struggle time to time, I love goals. Goals keep me living.

When Stephen asked me to help him launch this Beach Body by June Challenge, I was more than ecstatic. I love fitness, nutrition, and more importantly, I love a good challenge. I also love the fact that Stephen wanted to create this community of support and offer help to those who may be struggling with taking the first step towards a healthier life. As you all know, his positivity is simply contagious and inspirational--great characteristics needed for motivating people to change. To even be a part of his project means the world to me; a project that will help people jumpstart their fitness goals to lead a healthier lifestyle and look forward to a positive summer. My heart leaps with joy.

Here I am [Jen], guest blogging on Make Today Your Day, encouraging you to PUSH IT. 

Finding Your Jam

Hands down, my favorite song ever is 'Push It,' by Salt-n-Peppa. As dirty of a song as it may be, this song serves as a reminder to #pushitrealgood in my workouts. Anytime I hear this song, I go into beast mode and I dedicate myself to every gut-wrenching crunch, every mile that strains my knees, every drop of sweat that falls, and every muscle that shakes as I push to finish my reps on free weights.

This week, I am challenging you to PUSH IT. I want you to push yourself to a new level that you didn't think you could reach. I want you to push yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. I want you to look yourself in the mirror and start to believe in yourself. Believe that you can run that mile. Believe that you can crunch that crunch. Believe that you can lift that scary dumbbell. Believe that you won't die in the gym. Believe that you are WORTH it to keep living. Believe that people will love you, regardless of the final results. Find your jam and let it be your motivation. Push. It. Real. Good.

Believe that you can push to live. 

This week's Push It Challenge: PLANKS!

What is a plank you ask? Plank is an "isometric core move that involves holding a difficult position for an extended period of time. Most often, the common move is a front plank which is where the body is held in a push-up position with one's body weight held on the forearms, elbows, and toes." [Wikipedia]

Example

The plank is excellent for building core strength and stability as it strengthens several primary and secondary muscles such as the abs, traps, rhomboids, glutes, and quads. Translation: it works your ENTIRE body. 

I have broken this week's 'Push It Challenge' into three categories: beginner, intermediate, and advanced. 

Beginners: You didn't even know what a plank was before reading this. It's ok...gotta start somewhere.

Your challenge is to practice the plank 3x this week at a duration of 30 seconds- 1 minute. You should be able to hold the plank for at least 1 minute by the end of the week. Start by lying on mat. Raise yourself up by putting weight on forearms and elbows. Stay balanced by tensing your core. Your body will shake. Your voice will tell you to quit. 

Don't listen; PUSH IT.

Intermediate: You know what a plank is but you avoid them at all costs in your workouts. 

Your challenge is to engage in a plank 3x this week at a duration of 1:30 seconds and do at least 2 reps. Therefore each day you plank you should have done a total of 4 minutes of planking. Since this is intermediate, you can take a 1-2 minute rest in between each plank. 

Breathe; PUSH IT.

Advanced: You are the macho man or woman of your gym and you work out more than 5x per week. Hottie.

Your challenge is to SUPERMAN PLANK 3x this week for a duration of 60 seconds or more. Clark Kent, eat your heart out.

Lie in plank position with forearms on mat. Raise your right arm and left leg simultaneously. Switch sides and continue to alternate arms and legs. Stay balanced by tensing your core; this resistance helps build core strength. 

You got this; PUSH IT.

Example

Here are my goals for: You've Got a Friend in Me-- Week 2 of Beach Body by June.

This week's challenge is going to be insanely good. What better week than Easter week to focus on friendship, forgiveness, and the things that can cripple our health? 

Physical 

I am SO looking forward to working out with a friend this week: I plan to go running with my friend Leigh (with whom I signed up for a half-marathon for next month), venturing out to do some rock climbing, and even help spot someone at the gym. I love being active with my friends--it gives us the opportunity to build each other up in affirmation and it serves as a motivation factor too. If they don't quit, then I can't quit! 

Emotional

Forgiveness is something I struggle with daily. My relationship with my father is nearly non-existent for so many reasons. One would think that due to his unfortunate health scare, it would have drawn us closer; rather it drove us further apart due to his stubbornness and lack of care for his own health. He didn't want to change. He never wants to change. He has an extremely hard time learning from his mistakes and taking a step in the right direction. But, I can't keep beating myself up for the mistakes he makes. I can only focus on what I give to the relationship. Therefore, this week it's my emotional goal to reach out to my dad with a simple phone call and tell him, "I forgive you."  

End of story.

Mental

I am going to struggle this week with vices as I love, love, love beer. At the beginning of this challenge, I made a goal of just limiting my alcohol intake to clear liquor and restricting my beer intake to 1 or 2 per week. Now, I am cutting beer out completely for this week. [GAH!] Besides, beer is chock full of empty calories that requires extra cardio to burn. 

Bye-bye IPA's, I shall miss you this week.

To see my completion of the Stephen's Beach Body by June Challenge, follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/jaybeanphotos. I will follow you and help cheer you on!  

Here are my favorite links to some websites that helped me jumpstart my healthy lifestyle and path to clean eating:

Good Eats

www.eatingwell.com

www.thegraciouspantry.com/clean-eating

www.marksdailyapple.com

www.thehealthysite.com

Move That Body

www.mizfit.com

www.fitbottomedgirls.com

www.q.equinox.com

www.muscleandfitness.com

www.bodybuilding.com

Get out there folks; make healthy choices, stay active and move your body, love yourself, and remember: PUSH IT.